Letters from Parents

The following are from letters written by Mothers who came to Dr. Lederer and the RAD Consultancy when traditional treatments failed and the prognosis for their children seemed hopeless.

LETTER 1:
Alex, 14
At twelve years old, Alex was adopted from Russia, where he had been institutionalized several times. He defied authority, lied, stole, and refused to abide by any limits or rules. He did not cooperate in his home-schooling and endlessly annoyed his eight siblings, one of whom suffered from nightmares as a result of the constant harassment. He “shut down” when confronted. He was uncontrollable at home but charming outside in the world. He ran away from home on occasion and was hospitalized after his last disappearance. He was variously diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Bipolar disorder and borderline schizophrenia were also mentioned, and he was at various times prescribed Prozac, Risperdal, and Ritalin. Therapists were pessimistic about his chances to ever be normal.

LETTER 2:
Margaret, 16
Margaret has had problems all her life. At sixteen, she has no friends and is inconsiderate, temperamental, emotionally distant, negative, and promiscuous. Margaret smokes, drinks, doesn’t accept rules of any kind, and constantly provokes her sister into fights. Margaret’s birth mother was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and is manipulative, provocative, and dishonest. She is in prison and is scheduled for release when Margaret is eighteen. Margaret lives with her father and stepmother and has a horrible relationship with both. Her stepmother hates coming home in the evenings. She says she “can’t stand” Margaret, who “ruins everything at home.”

LETTER 3:
Michelle, 4
Michelle is 4 years old and was adopted. Although very bright, she was in a constant power struggle with her mother, bossy and challenging every step of the way. She talked back and had no respect for her mother’s authority. Punishment had no effect because she would return to the same behavior immediately afterward. When she didn’t get her way, she’d fly into uncontrollable rages, screaming and kicking walls and doors. She could be friendly one minute and mean the next. Her mother was exhausted and afraid of what the future would hold for Michelle if a solution could not be found.